Five Signs Your Dog is Your Baby
Hello, everyone! I'm currently either in Boston, New York, or Europe somewhere (hopefully either eating a crêpe or walking around a cool museum), so these posts will be short and sweet while I'm gone. Be on the lookout for the first installment of my 2017 travel adventures on July 3!
Not gonna lie, my dogs probably get treated better than anyone else in my life. I'm not mad about it. Here are five signs your relationship with your dog is as dysfunctional as mine:
1. You let them drool on you.
Babies and dogs have one major component in common: drool. It's gross, but hey, they're your baby, so you let them slobber all over toys that you still pick up and use to play with them, or let them leave a big line of drool on everything you ever loved.
2. You dress them up in ridiculous(ly cute) outfits.
Is a lion costume very practical for everyday doggy activities? No. But it is very cute, and that's what matters.
3. You let them embarrass you in public.
The same way parents stop getting worked up over their toddlers rolling around punching each other on the grocery store floor, or listening to a baby scream its head off in the middle of a restaurant, or watching a teenager throw a tantrum over a haircut, you still love your dog and keep taking it out in public after it embarrasses you. I don't think I need to explain how my dogs embarrass me on a daily basis.
4. You let them sleep on you and cut off circulation to all limbs before you'll move a muscle to wake them up.
My dogs get to spoon me, crush me, snuggle up against my legs, lay on my feet, lay on my chest, lay on my head—I think you get the picture.
5. You hug and kiss them (and let them do the same to you) even after seeing all their bodily functions in the good times and bad.
You know where that mouth has been. And you had to clean up diarrhea or pee (or both) this morning. But you still cuddle them and give them all the love. Because they're your baby and they deserve nothing less.
